Presidents come in many different shades of green, much like the ties they wear and broccoli they refuse to eat. Hunter green, dollar-bill green, sometimes puke green in times of national emergency, and even magenta green (commonly known as just magenta, which is actually the opposite of green). But never mind that. Let’s not focus on how America still hasn’t gotten on board with the Kyoto Protocol, or how we contribute a quarter of global CO2 emissions but make up only 5 percent of the world’s population. For once, let’s talk about some of the things our commanders in chief—from George Washington to George W.—have done right. Enjoy these choice factoids:

George Washington—first president, 1789-1797
•    Washington was the only president ever to be elected unanimously. No campaign trail to speak of—imagine the carbon savings! The cancelled FOX and CNN election specials alone probably could have powered every home in the nation!
•    Also, showing extreme patience and willpower, Washington had his men row him across the Delaware. Not once did he rev up the outboard engine.
•    As a boy, little George (of the famous cherry tree anecdote) did not chop down his father’s prized cherry tree with his new hatchet. Rather, he merely hacked off all its bark and left it to die a slow and painful death.

Thomas Jefferson—third president, 1801-1809
•    During his second term, Jefferson attempted an embargo on American shipping. His reasoning was more to do with international trade than with reducing greenhouse gas emissions, but still. Unfortunately, the embargo “worked badly and was unpopular.”
•    Jefferson was also known for reducing vampire power drainage by diligently unplugging his cell phone charger each morning.

James Madison—fourth president, 1809-1817
•    A mere 5 feet 4 inches, 100 pounds, James Madison was the shortest American president.
•    He took up very little space.
•    [Martin Van Buren, 5 feet 6 inches, didn’t take up much space either.]

James Monroe—fifth president, 1758-1831
•    Monroe loved the outdoors so much, he was the first president to be inaugurated… outdoors.
•    Maybe that’s where Middlebury got the sporting idea to have their midyear graduates collect their diplomas on skis.

John Quincy Adams—sixth president, 1825-1829
•    Adams, son of just-president John Adams, was the first president to practice patriotic recycling by reusing his father’s name in the White House.
•    Also, records all but prove that he never once left his laptop computer on overnight.

Andrew Jackson—seventh president, 1829-1837
•    Andrew Jackson was the first president to ride on a train.
•    It probably wasn’t Amtrak though, because if you think $90 is highway robbery today that was like so much money in those days, like billions.

Abraham Lincoln—sixteenth president, 1861-1865
•    That old trendsetter Abe lived off the grid in a log cabin way before that sort of thing was cool.

Ulysses S. Grant—eighteenth president, 1869-1877
•    A man about town, Grant resisted the urge to splash out on a flashy red Jaguar, and instead humbly went about his business via horse and buggy.
•    His noble commitment to low-carbon transport cost him dearly: Once caught buggy-speeding in the streets of DC, poor chap, he was fined $20 and forced to return on foot to the White House.

William McKinley—twenty-fifth president, 1897-1901
•    At the turn of the century, ladies’ hats were often decorated with plumes from over-hunted birds. McKinley apparently either thought the hats were ugly or opposed plume hunting—the Lacey Act of 1900 banned the practice of shipping illegally-killed birds from one state to another. Plume hunters weren’t psyched.

Posted on Feb 15, 2008 at 9:00 AM
Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)